On the other note - my gums feel considerably better now and I don't need to take painkillers anymore which is a good thing. I still have to visit my dentist on May 17th, just to be sure that I'm leaving Russia without any major problems with my long-suffering teeth.
Yesterday I went to the park with my school classmate Yana who's shooting a video about me. It is supposed to be a portrait of a person, project she's doing for her University course, and I'm happy that she chose me as an object of such attention. Feel kinda privileged now! Anyway, she shot video-interview and I took a few shots around the park. Everyone's happy :)
I am a bit worried about Sasha's health and wheezing in his lung. During our short trip to dacha he has probably caught cold and now has these unusual sounds while breathing. I don't want to think that this can be anything serious, but still we're going to visit a doctor tomorrow morning. Hope everything will be ok.
Everyday I feel more and more grief for my usual life in St. Petersburg which is about to end. I know many good things will come soon, but I cannot let go this "future nostalgia" just yet. Wherever I go, whoever I talk to, I wonder - will I miss this place, this person, this habit when I leave for Melbourne? Surely, I don't have many friends here and my course of journalism stopped being useful many months ago, but I can't get over the thought that some parts of my life here may seem quite romantic after some time.
I really, really miss the idea of going to dacha during summer! Even though we weren't paying visits to Oskui very ften over the last 2 years, I think it is a nice and important place to me. How many beautiful things happened there! I recall many carefree, sweet summer days spent in those houses on the riverside. How we watched same movies on VHS over and over again, so I knew some of the dialogues by heart, How we played Playstation with my friends, Crash Bandicoot being our favorite game. How I swam in the river under observation of my nanny Nelly. When I was a teenager I was reading all night long, and because of white nights hours flew by very fast. At the time when I had started writing stories of my own I used to go to sleep only after sun rose. There were many fun and remarkable things there. I realize that by now it's all in the past, it's gone and cannot be repeated, but memories are hard to convince to be reasonable. I remember the feelings, and they make me want to go back again. And I am especially worried because mum is thinking about selling the house. I know, now we have new annoying neighbours behing the fence, but in my opinion it is something easy to cope with!
So yeah, going back to my thoughts about Australia...What I'm afraid of:
1) Not fitting in: no one to talk to, no place to hang out
2) Not liking the city (who knows why, this is all about the feeling!)
3) Money shortage (russian salary vs. aussie prices)
4) Living in a nasty house/apartment that would be worse than ours.
5) Not finding a job
6) Not getting PR after Sasha graduates (it's almost the same thing as not finding a job, because one leads to another)
7) Feeling homesick, missing mum and few other people who stay in Russia
8) That Chris won't come back to Melbourne, will be disappointing not seeing him there
9) Having language problems, it is especially urgent in Sasha's case
10) Would be great if Sasha could win scolarship but I'm not relying uopn it
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